Lame ass EX boyfriend.....

So this fucking bastard comes to the mall with me to discourage me even more with my new years outfit. See I don't like to look like everybody else so I try not shop at the same stores majority of bitches shop in. Well I know what I wanna look like, but I haven't quite found the item I'm looking for.

I have gained like 30 ponds. I can't lie it does depress me some. I'm 5'4 ,usually size 5. But in the past two years I've been going up the chart, i'ma size 9. The only o.k. thing about the weight is it's all over not jus my stomach or legs, plus I'm muscularly built so I'm jus really thick wit a little gut. I'm tryna lose the weight but I barely eat as it is.. I mean damn am I suppost to eat un salted crackers n shyt. I've lost about 10 pounds barely eating and working out. I'm jus not use to dietig and watching what I eat. I think it's my IUD. The doctor says it not, I think it is. Medicine is a science doctors don't know everything.. believe me I know.. Back to the story..

I try this boyfriend jacket on.. I'm feelin it, but I'm tryna be a little bit more sexy. Well I try on this black shirt, wide short sleeves, one side can sit off the shoulder, little black jewels side or whatever. It's a cute everyday shirt, NOT new years,new boo shirt. Well my ex is like "Your trippin what's wrong with the shirt"? I'm like "That shirt screams I gained 15 pounds". He keeps tryna tell me he likes it, as if he's paying for it. I say " I'm tryna be sexy not look chubby" he goes your gonna look chubby not matter what you wear". OMG that really hurt my feelings. I left the mall cause I was pissed off.

Like it wasn't really that he said that hater ass shyt to piss me off. But I mean damn, do I really look chubby. It's like confirming my insecurities, that I'm not as hot as I use to be. Then later he says I didn't mean it. Fucking punk..

I'm still gonna rock out new years. What a hoe. N when is moving out?

Educated Dummy??????

I just finished school in November, so now the job hunt begans. I have to find me a job A.S.A.P. I might commit suicide if I stay at this job any longer. I work swing, which was koo when I was in school. Swing shift has made me a lazier bitch then I already am. I don't want to get up n the morning cause I been up all night. Long dramatic story short. Some of the places I've applied to want you to take a test. I don't know if I can pass these test. Am I an educated dummy? Probably, but there's a lot of us out there. Went to school, can pass a test, but do you really know the material. Now when it comes down to the skill and technic I got that. But the science behind it do I remember it. Am I psyching myself out? I'm scared I'll be stuck at this dead end job forever.

This Natalie Nunn character is too funny...

O.K. so I've only seen three episodes of Bad Girls Club n I already figured this broad Natalie out. Actually I had her figured out from the first episode. I'm tryna figure out why any grown women in the world would want America to know they were a bust it baby.NO cool points for fucking a celeb.. Unless your writing a book then that's a different story. Come on you sound so pitiful to be dick riding a nigga that says you never even rode the dick. Matter a fact he says he don't know you.. The jokes on you!!! I checked your swagg and it's lame. A bad bitch don't gotta scream bad bitch. So you claiming you this n that, seem real suspect. She's a habitual lair. She talking bout "What happen to my ring, it's fourty carrots". LOL. For one you said you grew up poor, so where grammy get the ring. Second, let alone ain't nobody bring a 4 carrot ring around 5 other bitches unless it's they wedding ring. Then she get drunk and acts like she just got outta jail doing a 10 yr bid or something. Don't know grown man with money want to waste time with a women who don't have no etiquette or class about herself. I might not know all the brand names, but I know what the cheap ones look like. AND hunny them earrings came from forever 21 and them hot pink glasses, off the 10 dollar rack in BP clothing department in Nordstroms.. N i don't think dark skinn women hate her they jus see through her.. What a attention whore...


NOw why do I care? Cause I'm annoyed and intitled to my opinion on my fucking blogspot..

throw some D's on that bitch...

I can't understand why anyone in the world would want big titties!!! i fucking hate my tits. I use to have perfect C 36's. Even then they got on my nerves but they weren't that bad.Then I started taking "The Ring " birth control. Chest went up to a whooping D 36. what the fuck is going on with birth control? Too many damn hormones, but thats another story.. I guess people pay for the milk duds. So I'm blessed right? Wrong!!! After I have kids I'm getting a deduction. here's the disadvantages of the cha cha's.

• They fucking sweat. Bitch don't deny it!!! I got baby powder lining my fucking bras..

• A none sexy situation instant becomes sexy. Have you ever had on V cut shirt and bent over at work? Catch my drift.

• My fucking back hurts!!!

• Some outfits were not made for invisible bras I need my tits to sit at attention.

• After C 36 bras come in Nude or Black. Unless you wanna spend 150 and even then the bra is still ugly ass hell. O not let me forget Burgundey. Now when did Burgundey become sexy. My fucking grandma probably fucks my grandpa in burgundey. Get the picture? Get it got it gone.

• Everyone's always got something to say. Can you lay off the tits thanks!!

• Some shirts make baby ass cups not enough room in the front. Like if I want to buy a button up, it won't go all the way across the tits, so I have to get a bigger shirt. Now I don't want it. I look like a fucking librarian with a frumpy ass button up, high water pants, and Danskos.

O.K. I almost feel better.

dangerously not in love...

Me and my ex still currently live together. sometimes when we are angry at eachother we'll kinda have a clowning session, but in a sarcastic serious tone. Well the other night i guess i went to hard clowing on his premature bald spot and he went hard on me. The things he said saying was so hurtful I felt my heart break. i immediately seperated myself from the situation and the livingroom. I laid in the bed and cried. I couldn't allow myself to let him hear me cry.I didn't want him to have that power over me, to know he could hurt me with words. I couldn't let him know he'd broken me down. I couldn't let him see my gaurds down; with heart laying on my shoulder and I damn sure didn't want him to feel sorry out of pity. I use to believe we loved eachother, but this aint love. They say there is a the line between love and hate. I've witnessed it first hand on my own house.This broken relationship is getting dangerous.......