I'm getting closer to where I wanna be. The ex is leaving in two weeks. I finally got the job I went to school for, and I makea really comfortable wage. I've come across a man that is worth all of me. Things are looking up, but of course could be better. Jus updating my blogger. My drama up next. Lol. I always got drama.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Moving Day
I've decide to let bigons be bigons. I'm scared about this move. I never thought I'd get the guts to do it. I figured maybe he'd move out on his own. I like everything strategrically planned. I have no plan, no idea where I'm going. Few places I could go. I could get another apartment but I need to be financially stable befor I get out there on my own. I hate to need people, but I need them more than ever.
I can't continue on like this. I think I'm more concerned because I know he has no where to go. But he's been knowing for months that I fed up. No change. Shyt swim or sink. I can't keep being nice getting myself hurt. Plus I'm interested in someone for the first time, in a long time. I can't expect this man to be serious, when I'm laid up. I have to close this chapter in my life to move forward.
But I'm moving. Wish me luck on my journey!!
Posted by Beautiful Nightmare. at 10:06 PM 0 comments
Labels: changes
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Sponser or Lover...
When coming it comes to life situations I'm almost always alittle undecided.
I gotta nigga willing to pay my bills. He's in a relationship and I don't care. We spend time together and he'll pay my rent.And he ain't no sapp ass nigga. He's the type I could see myself with. More like I could see him getting me to the next level. But I ain't the type of chic that likes to depend on a man. I could never replace her, just be a addition to the team. If I ain't sitting bench I can play along. Digg that. I honsetly do like him though..
But I'm obessed with someone. He's my everything. Like I feel like he's my soul mate. But I could never date him. I could nver date someone I'm head over heels for. Doomed for my destruction. I gotta be level headed in a relationship. I know I would be to dangerous. I've learned never love someone more than they love you.
So how do I play this one out. Get my rent paid and fall dangerously in love. Or fuck emm both and be independent. Do I fall in love. everyone needs real love. Do I fuck with the man in a relationship and break up his already broken home? I dono man.
Posted by Beautiful Nightmare. at 2:56 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Lesbo Nation
Man in my part of town there's Lesbos everywhere. Where did they come from? I know Seattle is like the 2nd or 3rd highest rates for gays, but I don't believe all these Lessies. Most these girls I know are jsut starving gor attention. It's almost like a trend right now. The niggas up here are crappy and don't know how to treat women. I don't blame them, I blame the women.
That don't mean be a Lessie. Get some standards, that simple. It's like some type of executive decision. Did I miss the announcement. These bitches been sucking dick for 22 yrs and now you eat pussy. But some these girls done fucked half the town and now all that's left is the fee's. I dono I love da peen too much to be licking coochie. I can't wrap my mind around it. I was programmed to suck dick. And Ima keep sucking.lol
Posted by Beautiful Nightmare. at 10:01 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Cornie dudes...
I met this guy on Friday at the club. He was alittle chubby but he clearly had money driving a Jag. So I proceeded to give him my number. After the club he asks me can he take me to breakfast. I road with my friend so I had her drop me off to him. We ended up going to the I-hop. Just in case he started acting stupid I could walk home. I lived less then a mile away.
Like usual the mans all in personal business. He asks "who you stay with". I say " with my ex". He asks " do you guys still be fucking". I say " yes". I hate when people ask me that question. And I always say yes we're still fucking cause why lie. I don't know you, you don't know me who cares. Really I do it for shock value. Let's be honest. I think its a stupid question to be asking.
Then he's telling me how he takes care of his women. Blah Blah Blah. About his cars,money. He's gonna get my nails and hair done. I don't care. If you wanna impress me show me something. All that talk about what your gonna do don't mean shyt to me. Pay my rent. I could careless about your car because I ain't driving it.
Then he starts talking bout how sexy I am. My lips are big and my ample breast. He says " I bet you have big black nipples" I said well I ain't white so they there black you wanna see. And I pulled my tittie out at the table real quick. LMAO. Now I'm usually classy. I'm drunk and really think he's lame. So I'm not tryna impress him. I couldn't just jump in the bed with a man I just met. So all these sexual advances is just turning me off.
So then on his way to drop me off he has to stop at Walgreens to pick up a prescription. The man says something about make sure she blah blah didn't care. So after he gets the meds he says I'm picking up some meds for my hommies prego girl. He gives me this long ass story, as if he owes me a explanation. So now I know he lieing.
He drops me off swearing I'ma be his girl. This nigga barely know me. How could I possibly be the one. This why I don't date guys my age.
Posted by Beautiful Nightmare. at 5:31 PM 0 comments
Labels: dating
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Is he serious?
After the club, a man took me breakfast. He was a little chubby, but he had swagg. I can appreciate personality over looks anyday. Well he's tryna hook me line and sinker. Most mean think because they tell me I'm beautiful to be so dark I'll be head over heals. For one I'm brown complexed. And SECOND dark is beautiful that's a wack ass line. Which is another story. He tells me, I know what you need and I can handle that. Ima get your hair done, nails, and all that.
Look I speak for a real women when I say I can pay for that shyt.. Now if you can pay my rent hit me. I got grown ass bills that need big payments. If you can't do that, keep it pushing. This Qoute on qoute dark skinned women needs more then a 100 dollar hairdo. When a man can do something for me that I can't pay for myself then we got something to talk about. Until then the saga continues like Star Trek...
Thanks and good night....
Posted by Beautiful Nightmare. at 3:52 AM 0 comments
Labels: things that irriate me
Saturday, January 30, 2010
dont call me ma.
I hate to be called MA, mommy, mom. I'm not your damn mom and I don't got no kids. And I mos def don't want to have your kids. That be killing the mood. That's how I end up accidently losing your number.
I don't believe in calling a man daddy. I know who my dad is. You didn't help create me and you ain't ever gone be my sole provider, so lose the call me daddy.
Now sex, that's a different story. Ill stroke your ego alittle..
Posted by Beautiful Nightmare. at 6:22 PM 0 comments